Shocking Revelation

You will know the value of a person if he’s  gone. Finding a true friend is hard to  find. Yes, we have lot of friends to be considered, but if we’re down, only few were there to give a helping hand.

I’m remembering the past when I and late Ana shared happy moments, embarrassing situations and problems.

We have a deep relationship more than as friends. She was a second mother to me when I am still studying in Baguio.

I was their bed spacer in a boarding house for than two years. 

When we were introduced with each other, I didn't feel any animosity. I started liking her and divulged all my whereabouts in and out the university.

During Sundays, we attended mass, strolled at the mall, dropped by at the supermarket, and  counted the stairs going up to Lourdes Grotto.  Two years  attending nine mornings before Christmas. I missed all of these events in my life with Ate Ana.

It was 2004, Ate Ana felt there something bothering her. She told me the uneasiness and pain she felt every morning she wakes  up.

She held my hand and put it on her upper chest. Her heartbeat is normal, but when I tried to touch the upper portion of her breast, there was a lump on it.

I asked, “Ate, masakit po ba?”  (Ate, does it hurt?)

She answered, “Mommy, pag hinahawakan ko di masakit. Pero pag madaling araw kumikirot” (When I touch the lump, it doesn’t hurt. Only early dawn, it aches)

I missed her, calling me “Mommy”.  It’s her endearment to me.

Months passed by, we both noticed that the lump was bigger than the usual size. I advised her to tell the truth and seek help to her  “ Amo”, who used to be a medical practitioner.

Weeks later, Ate Ana was diagnosed and the cyst was malignant. She was then confined in Baguio General Hospital for the operation to prevent the multiplication of cancer cells.

I  with Ate Joyce,  a medical practitioner too and my roommate, visited Ate Ana in the hospital.

Despite the pain, she still managed to smile and greet us, as we arrived.

We were so glad, the operation was successful. On the contrary, she lost her one breast.

When Ate Ana finally got home, her “Amo” decided to give her a leave and rest to heal the wounds.

As far as I remembered,  almost four months to go before I graduate when she went home to Pangasinan.

I was eager to invite  and tell her to get well soon, so that she will be around during my final stage in college.

I want to savor my remaining days in Baguio with Ate Ana before I go home and do my jubhunting in Manila.

Though I was happy with my parents, brothers and friends in my graduation day, It was incomplete without the presence of Ate Ana.

It was on May 2005, when I left Baguio without a final looked to my beloved Ate Ana.

Months and years passed by without  any text from  Ate  Joyce to inform me regarding the condition of Ate Ana. That was the time when I got my first job.

In 2006, I was hired for my second job position. I was riding in a bus late at night going home. Due to boredom, I sent message to Ate Joyce how was she and Ate Ana. Ate Joyce was then a Doctor in Ilocos Sur practicing her profession. 

Can you guess where and how’s Ate Ana?

The last operation was successful. But after year, the cancer cells began to grow. Complication weaken   Ate Ana’s health. There’s no way for her to survive.

I was totally speechless and shocked on Ate Joyce’s  revelation. I could hardly spoke to her.  I was silently weeping in the bus, reminiscing the moments with Ate Ana and Ate Joyce.

Even Ate Joyce was shocked. She as well missed Ate Ana.

I wrote this article a tribute to all breast cancer victims who failed in their battle against life-threatening illness. As my final respect to Ate Ana, this is for you in this All Soul’s Day.

I keep you in my heart. December is fast approaching, hope you gonna visit me again in my dreams.

I knew you were in good hand with the Almighty God. 

I love you Ate Ana.

It takes time to heal

Love what makes the world go round. People have their own way of showing off what love is.

We love our parents, siblings, and friends. In other relationship like opposite sex, the degree of expressing one's love is far from being a friend only.

It takes two to tango as the saying goes. Both partners must exert effort for them to have a successful relationship. I don't want to sound philosophical here or sour graping with my past relationship.

I tend to forget everything about him that was three years ago. Now I had moved on and prioritized my goals and interest.  I don't want to dwell to those bitter memories.The wounds  in my heart were already healed.

After we broke-up, I spent more time at work, read inspirational books and jammed with my friends' houses.

At last I gained freedom. I never encountered suitors after that. Though my friends gave some textmates, it didn't work out.

One of my colleagues, teased me of being choosy. She said if I will continue that kind of  attitude, I will turn to be an old maiden.

I'm not that choosy type. It's really hard to force yourself to enter into a new relationship unprepared.

Time passed by like a wind, unknowingly I reached this age still single.

Due to persuasion of my friends, I joined dating websites. Friends online come and go. Some were ill-mannered others were nice.

So I keep on selecting and deleting unwanted friends. One day, I met this guy in one of dating sites. Getting to know each other like that. Maybe what I felt toward him is just an infatuation.

I like his voice and sense of humor, especially his wit. He's  full of wisdom and I learned small things from him.

I realized LIKE is different from LOVE.

I asked myself, "Am I starting to fall into his charm?"

I knew from the very start, catching his attention wasn't easy. Because lots of women is aiming to win his heart.

I really don't know what happened. I received a message saying he found his true love.

I was teary-eyed that time. My bruised ego was affected. I was really hurt.

He unfriend me and I got his point.  He didn't want me to mess things up and intrude to his new relationship.

For whatever reasons, I just respected him.

At present upon writing this article, I'm still searching for my lifetime partner.

Life must go on for me. Maybe someday, I gonna meet the guy of my dream. My knight in a shining armor.

A man who respects and accepts me for who and what I am.

A man who will defend and fight for me. And lastly, a kind, caring,responsible and loving man who loves me unconditionally and the people around me.                                                                                                    

These pictures copied from tagged.com. Captions are originally created.

Blooming roses, connotes new life

Two hearts beat as one for better or worst situation

Someone who will be there for me

Sealed kiss for eternity

One-on-One with the General

Way back in our Investigative Journalism class, our professor gave us a challenge on what topic  we shall tackle that catches attention to the public.

We were grouped into three. I, together with only six members brainstormed on that rainy and cold day in Baguio.

When the bell rang, we decided to investigate mafia and other drug cases in the province of Tarlac.

I knew this will be very confidential and sensitive case to handle.

We were given different tasks and responsibilities. One of my group mates has friends in Underworld. He has connections, so it would be easy for us to interview and gather information regarding our topic.

First day on our assignment was an introduction of ourselves. Our intention why we want to know the details behind illegal transactions.

I was so nervous and my hands are trembling that time. When we entered the dark room for interrogation, I knew there's no turning back.

My heart palpitated rapidly as I tapped my tape recorder and jotted down notes. While Mr. D, my group mate, asked about Underworld whereabouts.

Aside from mafia, we collaborated with the Police officers about prohibited drugs in the Philippines.

One more thing, we visited precincts and interviewed inmates who have cases in drug trafficking, drug addictions and the like.

The inmates obliged  and cooperated  with us. They humbly respond in every question. 

Nowadays, drug trafficking, drug dependents, and pushers are increasing. Victims were scattered everywhere unnoticed.

As Mr. D. told me seven years back, as long as those members are still active and their Generals have connections with the higher officials in the society;  producing dangerous drugs are difficult to eradicate.